Taguri: "servici"

Nota interna

Nota interna

Email intr-o multinationala cu birou in Romania, referitor la folosirea limbajului la munca:

To: All Romanian Speaking Staff
Subject: Improper Language Usage

It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our office in Romania that offensive language is commonly used by our Romanian speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and staff. All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:1. Words like “futui”, “în pula mea”, “pula” and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.
2. You will not say “si-a bagat pula” when someone makes a mistake, or “s-a cacat pe el” if you see someone being reprehended, or “baga-mi-as”, when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb “a se caca” and “a se fute” are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in our environment.
3. No project manager, section head or administrator under any circumstances will be referred to as “pula de om”, “cacanaru’” or “boul”.
4. Lack of determination will not be referred to as “pulalau” nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as “muiangiu”.
5. Unusual or creative ideas offered by management are not to be referred to as “porcarii”.
6. Do not say “futu-ti mata” if somebody is persistent; do not add “pula” mea, if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say “am pus-o” (refer to item 2) nor “o sa ne-o traga” when a matter becomes excessively complicated.
7. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say “du-te-n pula mea” nor should you ever substitute “May I help you?” with “ce pula mea vrei”?
8. Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial partners “bosorogi împutiti”.
9. Do not say “ia mai mereti-n pula cu cacatu’” asta when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer “futu-te-n cur” when your assistance is required.
10. You should never call partner representatives as “boul dracului” or “tampitu’ ala”.
11. The sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms such as “pizdulica buna, futaciosu’” or “homalau’ lu’ peste”.
12. Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say “ma sterg la cur cu textul asta”.Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.
Thank you.

Farsa la servici

Farsa la servici

Balada angajatului

Balada angajatului

Imi place munca,  bani de-ar fi
s-aduc in firma zi de zi
Imi place sefu ‘ cel mai tare!
Si sefii lui, pe fiecare..

Dilemele unui sef

Dilemele unui sef

Vii dimineata tarziu – esti exemplu negativ.
Vii punctual – ai venit sa-ti spionezi subalternii la sosire.

Esti prietenos cu subalternii – vizezi popularitatea ieftina.
Esti rezervat – te considera cu nasul pe sus.

Cum sa supravietuiesti la munca

Cum sa supravietuiesti la munca

Nu umbla niciodata fara un document in mana
Oamenii cu documente in maini dau impresia unor angajati care muncesc din greu, indreptandu-se spre intalniri importante. Oamenii fara nimic in maini dau impresia ca se pregatesc pentru pauza de cafea. Oamenii cu un ziar in maini dau impresia ca se duc la toaleta. Pe deasupra, sigura-te ca iti iei seara acasa cat mai mult de lucru, generand astfel falsa impresie ca muncesti mult mai multe ore decat in realitate.

Noul program de lucru pentru fumatori

Noul program de lucru pentru fumatori

Intr-o mare companie romaneasca ce activeaza in zona IT se naste ideea ca angajatii fumatori, datorita viciului lor consumator de timp sa aiba program diferentiat fata de ceilalti.  Astfel, apare urmatorul e-mail trimis angajatilor acestei firme:

Zicale la servici

Zicale la servici

Spune-i sefului tot ce crezi despre el si adevarul te va elibera.

Un conducator nu trebuie niciodata sa se avante prea mult inaintea trupelor sale pentru ca risca sa fie impuscat in fund.
Senatorul american Joseph S.Clark